Bleeding Taxi Drivers

For those of you who work I’n this profession, turn away now,this is not going to be pleasant .

Since the invention of the wheel it seems taxi drivers are intent on ruining ones day plus slipping you closer to financial Ruin.

Some examples so far.

Thailand , drivers reassure you they know the address only to take you on a wild goose chase where you end up in city traffic for the day. Your having an epileptic
fit their the picture of calm and serenity. Taking additional precautions of having the hotel write down the address seems to give them the licence to discover areas of Thailand yet inhabited.

Jordan , the first item on the agenda was to avoid taxi drivers like the plague. This advice came from the hotel as they have reputation of ripping tourists off . We had two such experiences.

No 1 – Hand up ,screech of tyres , scramble in to discover Charles Mason at the wheel , dressed in leather jacket , dark sunglasses , several days stubble and very obviously upset that his previous victim got away. I was willing to get in the boot as I’m sure that’s where we end up! We survived , after paying Charles enough to start up his own company.

No 2- On the list was less sinister, in the middle of no mans land we hailed a cab , got in , big chat with the driver .Family, weather, general stuff, all seemed well until 50 yards later when we were told to get “out” ! Anxious , worried , confused we threw him a wad of cash to cover any wear and tear plus a meal with wine.

Budapest, there warning posters in the airport. In fact, there everywhere, luggage carrousel, immigration, toilet doors , seats, sniffer dogs anything to warn off the unsuspecting tourist. We walked …

Madrid, we hailed a taxi to the train station it cost more then the train tickets. Duos crianza por fabor…..

Then you have Egypt ! You just know your going to be raped , it’s written in every guide book since the time of the pharaohs. There are so many incidents in Egypt I’m struggling where to start …. One guy took us half way to the airport when the journey to our hotel should have taken 5 mins . Strike two ,his brother in law went off on another job leaving us waiting at the pyramids for two hours . Picture two white guys, stranded at the country’s premier tourist spot , we hid in McDonald’s toilets as stuffed camels were pushed under the door.

And finally, we had Ahmed, who faithfully took us to the airport as the country slipped slowly into oblivion. Not your stereotypical taxi driver , certainly his attire made him standout.
Dressed in boots , sombrero , sporting a moustache coloured by the stain of a twenty a day habit. This is how the conversation went on the way to the airport.

Ahmed:” Hey gringos , I take you to zee airport you pay muchas muchas dineros. This vay , you see the sun set in zee sky ”

Stan & Olly : “spiffing show I say we’ll done old boy. Beefy went for a duck , terrible bad luck”

Ahmed: “Gringos ! You vant to die like zee pigs …..aiporto , grease zee palm with muchas muchas dineros I spit on your graves you sons of bitches”

Stan & Olly: “We throughly enjoyed our stay at the Armitage Shanks, it’s rather like the old country in a way . Minus of course earl grey tea and aunt Juliet’s frightfully fruity pots of jam … …’s our inheritance , toddle pip”

The End


A lovely Chap.....

A lovely Chap…..

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2 Responses to Bleeding Taxi Drivers

  1. John Carney says:

    Oh aye, stick in a rub about me not having a credit card. The smile will be on the other side of your face when I land in Rio to meet you fellas in July with a HSBC ATM card and Danske Bank cheque book. On a more positive note I have taken my new Mini Galaxy iPad out of its box. Since then I have left it charging – for the past six weeks in fact.

  2. jphone says:

    Is this wonderful ,well written,articulate entry to be the last? Well known fact about blogging is that people tend to post more when they are pee’d off . You haven’t posted since you arrived in Spain and wherever you are now so the logical conclusion is that ye had a bery bery good taime in Catalunia and the rest of Spain where the rain falls mainly in the plain!
    Post soon or you will lose your audience!
    Ps iPad mini still charging!

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